It’s that time of year again – back to school season!
Even though I’ve been done with school for a few years now, there’s something I still love about this season. It might have something to do with m obsession with cute office supplies (hello, Target back to school section that’s been packed with cute notebooks and fun pens for weeks!) It might also have something to do with my love of routines, and the reminder that this season brings to start things fresh or re-establish old habits that we’ve fallen behind on throughout the summer (heading to bed earlier, meal prepping, etc.). Perhaps it’s also a little bit of nostalgia. This time of year brings back so many memories for me, good and not so great.
But for 5 million adult student caregivers (who represent roughly eleven percent of adult caregivers), heading back to school can also be an anxiety producing experience. For adult children who are getting ready to attend colleges, universities, and trade schools across the country, they often have to consider the person they provide care for and their needs alongside their own desire to attend college.
Adult caregivers face unique challenges in deciding if, when, and where to attend college, including answer questions like:
- Where can I attend school? Do I need to stay close to home, or can we get the help we need so I can go to my dream school farther away?
- Can I live on campus, or do I need to go home every night to provide and/or coordinate care?
- What will my schedule look like? Are my responsibilities going to hinder my ability to be a full-time student, or do I need to attend classes part-time?
- Can I afford to attend school? College is expensive, y’all. We all know this. And oftentimes, even if you can prove financial need, the aid and scholarships are just not enough to cover tuition, room and board, meals, etc.
- If I do decide to become a full-time student, who will help provide care for my loved one? Do I have family, friends, neighbors, or anyone else who can pitch in? Do I need to hire help? Can my loved one make-do with a long-distance caregiver for the time being?
As I think back to my own experiences, I know how lucky I was to have made the decisions I did. The support of my family, the ability to attend a great school that was less than 20 minutes from home, a discount on my tuition (though let’s be honest, I still ended up with a huge amount of student debt), and parents that required more coordination of care than actual physical care. This allowed me to pursue my four-year degree, and then go on to attend grad school. A privilege that’s not lost on me.
But even when caregivers like me are able to attend college, the opportunity comes with a significant number of additional challenges. Student caregivers are often balancing academic demands with their caregiving responsibilities. Responsibilities that often have an effect on their ability to achieve their goals or pay for school. Everything from their ability to attend classes as required, turn assignments in on time, having time to study for exams, or their ability to stay in school altogether. In fact, seven in ten students say their caregiving had some significant impact on their academic performance.
What’s more alarming is that “according to the AARP report, many college administrators, college professors and even college students themselves appear to turn their backs on student caregivers. Nearly one-quarter of student caregivers interviewed said they felt “discriminated” against because of their caregiving responsibilities. And some 43 percent of student caregivers kept their caregiving responsibilities private, more than half of them because they believed their school or institution would not understand their situation.” (Horovitz, AARP, 2020).
We already discussed some of the challenges that young caregivers face in trying to decide if they should tell their school they are caregivers. And of adult student caregivers who have decided to disclose that they are caregivers only 1 in 3 report that the conversation resulted in them feeling supported.
So what can be done? First and foremost, colleges and universities need to acknowledge this as an issue and work with student caregivers to determine the best ways to support their unique situation, including increased flexibility, tuition reimbursement, and mental and physical health services.
For student caregivers, I suggest 5 tips to help navigate this challenging time:
- Get organized. Caregiving is never predictable, but staying organized helps reduce the chances of last minute emergencies or confusion about what needs to be done. If you have someone helping provide care while you attend school, our Caregiver Information Sheet can help keep the basics in an easy spot for everyone to access. On the school front, utilizing a planner, calendar, or tool like Trello might help you keep track of your schedule, plotting out time for studying and keeping tabs on upcoming deadlines.
- Take advantage of office hours. In my experience, most professors do want their students to succeed. While the research suggests that results on disclosing that you’re a caregiver are mixed, it’s my belief that at the end of the day, you’re better off sharing some of your challenges and asking for what you need.
- Take advantage of free or discounted mental and physical health services on campus. Being a student and being a caregiver are hard enough on their own. Most campus health centers provide at least some level of free and/or reduced cost counseling and other services, and even a few sessions can help ease the burdens you face as a student.
- Find your people. College and caregiving are both easier when you can share your challenges, fears, worries, and responsibilities with others who are going through similar things. It can be hard to find the time to take advantage of things like clubs, sports, support groups, and other opportunities – but I encourage you to find a way to pick just one thing that will help you connect with others and enjoy the experience.
- Give yourself a break. If this AARP report made one thing clear, it’s that even if you try to do everything in your power to be a great student and a great caregiver, the odds are still stacked against you. At times, it might feel like the wheels are falling off. By recognizing this, I hope you can understand that it’s less about you not being able to navigate it well, and much more about the failures of a system that wasn’t designed to serve us well. So cut yourself some slack.
As another group of young caregivers head off to college this fall, please know that we see you, and we’re with you. We hope you find connection, balance, and are able to make great memories and take advantage of the opportunities before you. You’re doing great!